Learning about Trauma and Love Bombing

Trauma is a catastrophic stressor as mentioned in the book “Helping Traumatized Families”. It is generally an unanticipated event. There is little time to prepare for it. One feels overwhelm and lost because of the emotional overload which have a heavy load on the brain, body and spirit. Many people cope by blocking the memory and this causes people to have a harder time staying in present moment.

Do you know what love bombing is? It’s prevalent in dating especially in the digital age where it is so easy to bombard the person with false promises of love and devotion. People prone to it are the ones who are lonely, low self-esteem and had parents who did not model good healthy relationships. The person who love bombs ignores your boundaries and gives unreliable expressions of love. The recipient of the love bombing is left confused and does not rely on their own intuition to know better that this kind of love is not sustainable and real. The love bomber reinforces the belief in you that you should not trust your own feeling that what the love bomber is doing doesn’t feel right. So, you stay. I’m here to tell you that you can learn to not get caught in the trap of the love bombing. You are actually going through trauma of not feeling like you deserve healthy and true sense of intimacy. You don’t have to believe what the love bomber tells you is love and yet, it may be hard to not. Please seek therapy and support to gain clarity and strength to walk away from this traumatic relationship of false sense of intimacy and love.

Developmental trauma

If your childhood had a series of negative memories or experiences such as physical, verbal or emotional abuse, you had developmental trauma. If you do not address it, the trauma creeps up in adulthood and it may appear as headaches or stomach aches. Sometimes the symptom may appear in adulthood where the adult feels so much shame for crying.

Adjusting to a new normal

If you had developmental trauma, your symptoms from it may show up during this Covid-19 pandemic. What this does mean? Your fears, anxiety, depression may now be overwhelming. Now, your fears of getting sick or something bad happening to you may ruin your ability to enjoy life. And, to cope in an unhealthy manner, you may find yourself snapping more at your love ones or isolating yourself. Having developmental trauma may trigger your sense of losing safety with your life and your ability to adjust to this “new” normal of using hand sanitizers, wearing a mask and working from home may start to wear you down.

Heal trauma using brainspotting

Time to enjoy life again! Brainspotting has been found to be helpful in healing trauma. It was created by David Grand, PhD. It is believed that where you look at can change your moods and mental health. The therapist supports you in locating a point in space where your eye focus is connected to your traumatic experiences. Please see the video below to learn what is involved and why it is effective in treating trauma.